***4/16/15 BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Express Medals TOTALLY gets it and just sent me a 10% off code to share. Really, no excuses left. http://expressmedals.refr.cc/4SLV364 ***
You guys all know I wrote a book that is coming out in September, because, well, I talk about it a lot. Sorry; I’m super excited. Anyway, this is relevant today because as part of that process, I submitted my book to the Axiom Business Book Awards. I had no idea if it was a big deal or if they would even consider a book about pumping breastmilk to be a “business book,” but I figured, what the hell.
A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by the folks at Axiom to tell me that Work. Pump. Repeat. had won the silver in the women’s business books category. I was pretty excited, especially since this Axiom thing looks legit. Winners in other categories include Walter Isaacson (the guy who wrote the big Steve Jobs bio) and motivational speaker Tony Robbins. I didn’t think much of it beyond that, though, probably because someone peed or spilled yogurt on me at that moment. And then…
…a big white package arrived in the mail. It included a certificate from Axiom (I am SURE I will remember where I put that thing…crap…) AND a huge silver medal on a blue ribbon. YOU GUYS, THE MEDAL HAS LATIN WORDS ON IT. It’s kinda heavy. This is a LEGIT medal. Also, apparently “laurus lego erudito” means “success through knowledge.”
I decided on the spot that it had been WAY too long since I’d had my own medal. Like, middle-school-too-long, and that was for making a scale model of a Medieval castle (I had a LOT of friends in middle school). So now my medal lives on my desk, and when I’m having a particularly crappy work day – or, alternately, when I’m having a great day and just did something awesome – I wear my medal.
I work from home, so no one sees me do this. My husband, who also works from home sometimes, occasionally wanders in, sees me in my medal, laughs at me, and leaves. My children, when they get home from preschool, are not allowed to touch mommy’s medal. IT’S MINE.
I was telling all of this in a very matter-of-fact way to Amy, my book agent, and she was laughing hysterically at me. What grown woman wears a medal, sitting at her desk? THIS ONE, AMY. And guess what, as of next week, you do, too. Because I just went online and ordered you a custom engraved medal. Your medal will read “aut viam inveniam aut faciam” followed by the word “WINNER”. The Latin means “I will either find a way or make one,” or at least I hope it does because that’s what the internet told me.
If you’re a working parent, things sometimes suck and I now officially believe that we should all just keep a medal at our desks for emergency purposes.
So, friends, for about $8, you, too, can order yourself (and/or a friend) a custom medal. This one will allow you to engrave a few words on it. Once you get your medal, post a photo of you wearing it at work to www.facebook.com/JessicaShortallWrites.
Because Latin makes everything seem more official, here’s a little starter kit for you:
- laurus lego erudito (success through knowledge)
- vos persolvo pro angustus obvius (achievement through effort)
- faber est suae quisque fortunae (every man is the artisan of his own fortune)
- auribus teneo lupum (holding a wolf by the ears) – I think this one is used to describe an untenable or unsustainable situation, which is not technically medal material, but A) who cares, it’s Latin and will make you look fancy, and B) it’s a pretty damn accurate statement on working motherhood
- also, here’s a list of University mottos, most of which are in Latin
And I URGE you to include the word “WINNER” on there somewhere. Because: you are.
Per aspera ad astra (that’s “through hardships to the stars”),